Everyone’s going bonkers about putting little computer screens on their front doors. Keypads! Codes! Fancy beeps! Like your house is suddenly a high-security bank vault, not just where you keep questionable leftovers. Me? I like a good key. Solid. Satisfying clunk. You know it’s locked. Or unlocked. Simple. Or… mostly? Keys get lost. Obvious downside. Found mine in the freezer once. Why? Brain fog. Tuesday.
Here’s the dumb appeal: hands full. Happens constantly. Groceries (heavy!), Amazon box you instantly regret (giant beanbag?), that weird reusable bag exploding with library books… Wrestling a key? Yeah, right. Drop everything. Again. Probably onto wet concrete. Annoying. Punching four numbers while balancing chaos? Sounds dreamy. If you remember the numbers. My PIN memory is a joke. Seriously, how many numeric passwords can one brain hold? Three? My birthday, cashpoint number, and… nope, that’s two already. Door code gonna be ‘1234’? Real secure there. Burglars love easy targets definetly.
Then security gets mentioned. “Military grade encryption!” Sounds impressive. But. But. But. Batteries. People forget batteries exist. Until things die. Smoke alarm chirping at 3 AM. Torchlight fading during power cuts. Dead TV remote. Now imagine your FRONT DOOR locking you out because the little AA’s gave up. Poetic. And terrifying. Happened to Fred down the street. Took a crowbar and a serious bruise to his ego to get in. My metal key? No batteries. Works on elbow grease. Or frustration. Technology: 1, Fred: Zero.
Maintenance! Oh boy. My old lock? Got stiff? Bit o’ WD-40. Done. This electronic box thing? What if the buttons freeze? Touchscreen stops working? Rain gets into the keypad? Actually happened to me! Visiting my sister, trying her new ‘beep boop door’. Pouring rain. Punched the code. Nothing. Screen got all foggy and… gave up. We stood there soaked like drowned cats while she fumbled for the emergency physical key backup. Irony much? Convenience my soggy socks.
Cost is another kicker. Hundreds! For a lock! My trusty deadbolt was maybe twenty five bucks? Fifteen years ago? Still clunks fine (usually). Why spend big money adding complexity? More things to break. More things needing Wi-Fi (sometimes?), more apps on your phone you never update… sounds stressful. Also, guests! Aunt Mildred visiting? Cutting her a key: simple. Giving her a code? Hope she remembers. Managing temporary digital access? Sounds like homework. Painful homework.
So, should you get a door lock with keypad fitted? Honestly? Maybe if you:
- Never lose anything (Liar.),
- Remember PINs like a robot (Not human.),
- Replace batteries religiously before they die (Unlikely.),
- Live in perfect weather always (Nowhere.),
- Enjoy spending loads for potential future rain-soaked lockouts?
If yes? Go nuts. Buy the shiny beeping thing. Knock yourself out. For the rest of us mere mortals who misplace keys in freezers and forget basic numbers? Probably stick to the jingly keychain. Keep a spare under the slightly creepy garden gnome. Old faithful. Just… maybe don’t use ‘1234’ as your safe combination. Use ‘pizza’. Much safer concept. Probably.